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Saturday, September 6, 2008

Sue kar (ke) mere man ko kiya tu ne kya ishaara...

Setting up the stage:

Meet Arse Norbor (A fictitious name of a official high-up representing a leading Norwegian telecom company having operations in Bangladesh, infact Bangladesh's operations are its most profitable venture). Arse has been very tensed lately, due to worldwide increasing media coverage regarding the tussle between his great company and the grey-haired old man from the third world country. Even today's news in the Bangladeshi newspaper The Daily Star made him spill his coffee over his neatly ironed shirt. He felt extremely pissed off and decided to call up his colleague Underspants Tansen, CEO of the Bangladesh operations, in Bangladesh to find out about this mess.

Arse: God morgen Underspants! Although I am sure its not as good a morning as you might expect it to be.
Underspants: God morgen Arse, you are such an Arse anyways, why are you bothering me so early in the morning?
Arse: Because you need to be bothered, as you don't seem to be doing much to make that old bugger happy and happily silent...
Underspants: What are you talking about? Jeg forstår ( I don't understand)
Arse: Min norskblå papegøye er dessverre død! (My Norwegian blue parrot is unfortunately dead!), or it is going to be...because of that silly old man! He says he is going to sue us, for allegations of violating deal, money-laundering, breach of laws...he speaks quite a mouthful doesn't he?
Underspants: Oh I see...oh I sue...he is going to suesue...haha..such a stupid Bangla word this 'susu' is.., anyways...that bugger again, I wonder why bad news don't stop chasing us, already neck-deep under the fine sea of fines for the VoIP shit, thanks to Dhola Bee and Terik this new 'apod' comes up...
Arse: Apod..what apod, what is apod? What makes you talk about your iPod? Wake up you stu...
Underspants: Not iPod you dumb fool...'apod' is a Bangla word, a slang, its not exactly 'bipod', which means danger in true sense, 'apod' is somewhat closer, but more of an irritating nature rather than an intimidating one...
Arse: Enough of your linguistic skills, why is the old man still not happy? Was the Nobel prize not enough for him? What else does he want? Not a single leaf moves without an intent, anything in the corporate world is done with a profit motive, Nobel was perhaps not an exception. We tried our best to convince the Swedes to consider this guy for the Nobel, otherwise why on earth we would give such a prize to someone who belongs to a country more known for floods, famine and fanatics! And look at him, he can't even stop smiling in front of the camera, I thought he was going to be a model for Telenor branded toothpastes around the world, or atleast in Bangladesh in near future.
Underspants: I have an idea...kaachey thakun..daat majun....Stay close and brush your teeth! lol
Arse: Shut and your local lingo...the old man is forgetting the deal we had earlier here, we have reasons for putting all our stakes on him, because we want to squeeze out the last drop of profit from that market, at any cost, what else is there better than this Nobel prize? He seems to have become greedier....but we can't afford to let go this juicy fleshy cash cow to the hands of the so called poor, women and all those development sector, micro-credit jazz out there in Bangladesh. So buckle up and tame this guy who seemed to have too much of a limelight and fame lately.
Underspants: eg har ikke gjort noe galt (I haven't done anything wrong)...OK lets see what I can do about this guy, he is even too old to go for a holiday in Mauritius, or even to get a property in please check if there are any more awards left to feed him. I remember I told him once..."Yunus, remember mate...that its not only Yunus...its Yu n and we are be nice ok?".
Arse: OK...but be quick, we don't want the whole world to read this...Hade! (Goodbye)
Underspants: Hade na beta...pura fandey...!
Arse: Stop your Bangla slangs on me...get up and get working. Bye
Underspants: Bye!

(To be continued)


Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha....simply hilarious and outstanding!!

Anonymous said...

I just heard Yunus 'negotiated' with Arse. News is he won't be pursuing the majority stake lawsuit.

Once Yunus gets paid underneath the table by GP, the poor can wait over their claims on GP. Negotiation at its finest. Banker to the poor when you need them. Exploiter at all other times.

Iqbal said...

Did he really negotiate? Then why was all this hoopla and media hype for? Just to get some more attention or to divert the attention from something?