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Monday, October 6, 2008

Sue kar...part trois...the big boys in town

The joys of Unders-pants knew no bounds lately, as combined with the fun of eating shemai, chotpoti, biriyani and korma during Eid holidays added with the extended vacation and festivities surrounding Durga Puja…his best friend, well wisher (and washer) and guide Arse Norbor is expected to arrive in town today! Just a like a Santa Claus in disguise, Arse is going to touch the (now) serene terrains of Dhaka city, with full of gifts, presents and who knows what else for not only Unders but also for his mates in GP, some leading bankers in town, the Stock Exchange Commission people, some poor people around and for some troublemakers. So Unders couldn’t wait, he waited at the ZIA VIP/CIP/RIP lounge and received with much fanfare the big boys who also are expected to play instruments during a concert titled ‘Grameen Murchhona’ (Grameen Symphony) in Gulshan-2 office premises for only GP employees. So here is the conversation between Arse and Unders as they head straight to GP office from ZIA. Incase you have missed the earlier episodes, read here and here.

Velkommen to Bangladesh Arse!!! Hvordan har du det? (How are you?)
takk bare bra. Og du? (I'm fine, thanks. And you?)
Couldn’t be better, as you are here, I am so relieved…we will have a great time at IC ok?
IC…what do you see? I don’t see anything good for you…for us…then?
Ahhh…IC does not mean I see, I meant International Club you airhead....we will have fun at that club you know…I am a regular there…these days I go there often and listen to Hindi music like Devdas, Jaane tu ya jaane na etc. while taking tequila shots…you will love it too.
Unders…please shut up….we are here with a mission…I am not here to dance with you…we are here to make others dance to our tunes, please grow up and understand.
Mission? What mission? Something like the movie Mission Kashmir?
OMG…you have completely become nuts haven’t you? Anyways…lets deal with problems now and find solutions…firstly why is this Daily Star calling us ‘Garmeen’? How can they afford to allow such typos in their national newspaper which is also read by our King the majesty back in Oslo?
I think they wanted to call us ‘Geramin’, much in a villagers tone, which literally means ‘rural’ in spoken Bangla…do they think we should become more ‘rural’? or are they hinting that we should handover more shares to those ‘khet geramin telecom’ people?
You are quite a linguist…and what does 'khet' mean? but ask Daily Star aren’t they satisfied with the amount of money we put up their @#* as advertisements, why have they made this mistake? Ask the editor to write GRAMEENPHONE a thousand times by hand in A4 size papers and send them to me as long as I am in this town!
Ok mate, no worries, I will ask him….what else? By the way..'khet' means 'khet'..it does not have a proper English equivalent...kind of not in mode, out of fashion, uncultured types you know..
Also…what the F is this Bangladesh Corporate Blog thing? Haven’t we put any ad up there too? Why are they talking shit every time against us and about us? What do they want?
Yeah I have seen my name there quite a few times with some pictures of mine…they should have put my better pictures, say the one with Katrina Kaif when I was visiting London last y…
Stop this non-sense Unders!...find them…
Okay….I will check the CV database with us provided by bdjobs.com, wonder if they ever wanted to work in GP and were never called or interviewed…poor chaps…so they must be doing all this out of frustration...haha!
Hmm..forget bdjobs…find them…and tell them that we want to take them along with us back home..to Oslo….they will work in Telenor!...and maintain our company blog from there…got it?
Are you sure? You know these people will disappear once they go abroad…so..
You have become one of them by staying in this place for too long…think beyond the box you …I don’t know what else-head to call you.
No worries…they will get the visa..and the job. What else can I do for you? Do you want to meet Bangladeshi female models? They are doing pretty good these days…
Uff…listen…set up a meeting with the banks…call in Thamun Ghushid of Citibank..and ask him to convince other airhead bankers to buy in to our IPO…
Okay…Thamun is there…and?
Set up a meeting with the good old bugger…the close-up toothpaste model cum nobel winner…lets talk face to face on his home ground….we will make sure that like all other important things in this country, this issue too…is put to rest and in oblivion once and for all.
Ok…do you want to visit his office or invite him to ours?
Call him at Gulshan…Mirpur is far…too much traffic…also..they might keep us hostage if we go in there…they have too many hungry poor people in that building…although the amount of their loan might be small…the size of their ambition to own the bigger pie of Grameen cake is notorious…you never know.
Great…as you say…what else?
Call up the SEC and tell them to keep mum…they think they know it all? We will tell them what they should know…
Ok…
And finally call up the guys in BTRC…ask them about next fines….when they are going to throw their next fine blows…
Fine…fine is fine with me…in fine, I should be safe and happy…hehe..and keep on selling air time…to airheads around…baki shob gollay jak! (let rest go to ruins)
Shomoy bole dibe gollay ke jabe! (Time will tell who will be ruined)
Jeg elsker deg Arse (I love you)! You just spoke perfect Bangla! But how?
We have come prepared this time Undy…done our homework…learnt some local language and slangs (gaalis) too…incase people hurl it behind our back…we can turn around and retort well.
Excellent…so I will do what you have asked me to do..the meetings and all…here we are …your hotel…so lets meet at IC this evening, what say you?
IC….you see..I am in a business trip here…
Arey that’s what the media will see…you and I will see some good money and good deals….while people here will keep on seeing the neel pankha turned on and on and on… by the way...where is Abba?
Abba? What abba? what makes you think of the famous band? they are my favorite too...
Arey not that Abba....abba means our father...your and mine...Mr. Herald Nirvik...he is truly a nirvik person...means fearless in Bangla....try googling him...you will get to know the weight of his visit to this country....
Oh right ofcourse...our Abba is coming in a different car...knowing me knowing you...he would prefer to keep his cool on his own..as he is here to tighten a few screws here and there and screw a few people too. Not literally ofcourse hehe.

1 comment:

Chanchal Mahmud said...

Daily Star typed 'garmeen' 10 times....how about 10 beter bari from GP...haha!